Mom, dad… ahem, grandma… we’re going to get a little graphic here.
I was having dinner with my old friend Rachel whom I hadn’t seen in a while the other night and she asked me if I was dating anyone. After sighing a remorseful no (hey, it’s been a slow spring), I turned the question around on her.
“Well, I’m having sex with someone. But I don’t like him.”
After I wiped away the champagne that came streaming out of my nose with laughter, I quizzed her further. She told me that this guy’s name was Hunter, they’d met at a bar, had sex one night and then it just kind of continued from there. Basically she’ll call him at 3am when she’s had a metric fuck ton of tequila and she’ll go over for… an adult sleepover.
A few words on Hunter: According to Rach, Hunter is everything that she hates. And since I’ve been her good friend for years, I can corroborate this. Hunter has tattoos. Hunter is blond. Hunter plays the guitar. Hunter lays in bed after they’ve had sex and tells Rachel all about his past relationships. In short, Hunter is just about every guy I’ve ever had a relationship with.
But Rachel is somewhat of an anomaly. Take one look at her, and you’d call her as a straight-laced Charlotte-type. But the girl has a wild side, which is one of the many reasons why I love her. These two are the absolute opposite, and if you were an outsider and were told one person was more into the other, you’d guess Rachel were falling for the bad boy.
But that just isn’t the case. Hunter is allegedly super interested in progressing the relationship. Rach, on the other hand, isn’t the least bit interested in anything but sex from this guy. She knows that he lives with roommates, but she’s never met him because she purposefully sneaks in and out of the bathroom in his apartment, as well as the apartment himself. He tried to play her a song on the guitar and she got so disgusted that she begged him to stop, offering up a blowie (SORRY MA) if he would just shut the fuck up. The dude has even offered to cook her breakfast — breakfast for Christ’s sake! — and her response? “Don’t do that. That’s inappropriate.”
So Rachel is my new personal hero. But aside from that, I think this brings up some incredibly interesting points about dating nowadays. Or at least sex nowadays.
It used to be that the person who wanted more out of this kind of relationship was the girl. A guy like Hunter would dick a chick like Rachel around until she was begging for mercy. But this just isn’t the case anymore. Women are sleeping with men that they don’t even like just for the sake of having sex. Isn’t that amazing? Like if you step back and think about it, that’s pretty incredible.
I’ve always hated men/movies/tv shows/books/hieroglyphics that make women out to be the needy ones in relationships. The piners who are always falling for the bad boy who will never give her what she wants. The truth of the matter is that there are more women like Rachel out there than people talk about it. Women who know what they want and go out and get it from a guy. Women are using men. And I love it. She is my Samantha hidden in Charlotte’s body.
Now the whole “using” thing is a topic I feel like I need to touch on… and truthfully it’s worth a whole post on it’s own (to come). But here are my thoughts: we all always say that we shouldn’t use people. But we use people every day. Can I borrow a dollar? Can you hold the door? Can you come with me to this wedding so I’m not alone? If we do all these things, then what’s so wrong about using people for sex? Sure, you can argue that someone might eventually get hurt. But people get hurt in real relationships everyday. Does that mean we shouldn’t attempt those? As long as everyone’s being smart and safe and responsible, what’s the harm?
Would I prefer that she were sleeping with someone she could actually stomach for more than the time that they’re playing naked wrestling? Sure. I’ve never been the type of person who was able to sleep with someone I hated. Disliked, maybe (how do you think I got through the last four months of my last relationship?), but flat-out hate? That would be tough. But this whole thing is about choice, people. And if Rachel wants to hate-bang, we should let her hate-bang. Hate-bang the shit out of that dude, Rachel. You’re an inspiration to us all.
What do you all think about this? Furthermore, have you ever hate-fucked a guy?
NOTE: Slut-shammers will be deleted because, well, fuck you. You can have an opinion without being an ass.